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inspired by

[link]

after reading it i was seized by the idea that one never stops grieving, really. we just learn to cope with it every day, our own little uncomfortable whisper telling us that we won't last forever.

this list gets longer as i grow older; better not to waste any time keeping your feelings to yourself. tell the people you love that you love them now, before you won't be able to. one way or another.

(c) praireidaisy 2012. All rights reserved.

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04/04/2013 - a DD! totally unexpected. thanks guys, all your support and kind words are much appreciated.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-03-04
:icontrylledrik:
Trylledrik Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow, thank you so much for sharing this with us. It really got me thinking...thank you :dalove:
Congrats on the DD.
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013   Writer
thanks! if you've got time to read more on the same subject, you might enjoy another one of mine;

[link]
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:iconindigo-serenade:
Indigo-Serenade Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
A solemnly powerful message, and conveyed very well!
Grats on the DD; it's completely well-deserved! :squee: :heart:
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013   Writer
thanks very much!
Reply
:iconindigo-serenade:
Indigo-Serenade Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're very welcome! :heart:
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:iconlaeneris:
Laeneris Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student Writer
Very powerful and raw... congratulations on your DD. :heart:
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013   Writer
thanks!
Reply
:iconalter-ipse-amicus:
alter-ipse-amicus Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
This is a great piece that recognises how ambiguous grief can be, and how it can be complicated and prolonged by the mixed feelings that often accompany the loss. I'm brought sharply to mind of my own losses, those I have cared deeply about and equally, those people I have lost whose passing has barely registered and I rarely even consider after the passage of time. Loss isn't always partnered by grief, and that reminds us how mundane and everyday a thing death can be, with no great exit fanfare to herald our passing.
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013   Writer
It's interesting that the expected reaction to death is abject grief but a lot of the time it's a lot more nuanced than that - all your prejudices, the best and worst parts of your relationship with the deceased can be highlighted in the way you respond to them being gone. Funny that you point out that this reminds you how mundane death can be - I agree with you there because I see it a lot in my line of work, but that doesn't mean each life doesn't have its own intrinsic value.
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:iconthemorningtrain:
themorningtrain Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Is is incredible!
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013   Writer
thank you!
Reply
:iconcaptain-savvy:
Captain-Savvy Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Very well written. I just lost an uncle who I was very close to. He died suddenly a couple weeks ago, and it still hurts very badly, and I know it will never really stop hurting. We never got around to playing that game of Scrabble we'd been joking about, or getting everyone together for a movie and popcorn night. He left us too soon...
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013   Writer
I hope reading this helped you at least a little. I know it's not much help to say it but I really am sorry he's gone :'(
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:iconcaptain-savvy:
Captain-Savvy Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It did. I wrote some sort of mishmash poem right after he passed away... it really does help with the mourning process :)
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013   Writer
I'm glad it helped :)
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the well deserved DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :heart:
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013   Writer
thanks! i had no clue until i read your comment haha.
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:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My pleasure, enjoy it :happybounce:
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:icontwistedalyx:
TwistedAlyx Featured By Owner May 9, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks for the link--I enjoyed both pieces.

This reminds me of a piece a girl at my school read to us, a part of her senior project. She was writing about her grandparents, Holocaust survivors, and trying to look at their memory without avoiding the subject of the Holocaust or without making it all about the Holocaust. What she read us was called "Wearing" and it was her reflection on wearing her grandpa's old cardigan and her grandmother's lipstick, how using their belongings wore those belongings down and that loss frightened her but she couldn't decide if it was better or worse than leaving them to collect dust. I don't have a written copy to share with you, but I wish I did!
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner May 9, 2012   Writer
That sounds like it was written with a lot of love, and for sure that's always something that makes good reading. This was me missing these people.
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:icontwistedalyx:
TwistedAlyx Featured By Owner May 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Which is also always a valid reason to write. :hu:

I think there are WAY more valid reasons to wite than not to write. X)
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner May 10, 2012   Writer
True that. :D
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:iconalleyana:
Alleyana Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2012   Writer
:hug:
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:heart:

The list of things worthy of grief will never grow any shorter. I believe that we will always grieve, but we layer ourselves with experience and build walls to protect ourselves. It is a dangerous game, because the very thing we are trying to protect ourselves from also prevents the very things we need: emotional attachment.
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012   Writer
Yes, but I think in the aftermath of something so traumatic, emotional attachment rightly does not come by grace and in a way I think it means we appreciate it more when it does happen. Which may not be a bad thing.
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I'm confused by your reply. And I agree, loss makes us appreciate what we have even more. But some of our natural responses to loss, cause us to push ourselves away from people. I believe that is the opposite thing we should do in those circumstances.
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012   Writer
To some extent I agree with you, what I meant was that pushing people away lets us find out at our own pace that we really do need people in our lives and that the risk of losing them is worth what we get from loving them. But we need time to work that out. And sometimes reflection and solitude is a good thing.
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think we agree. I just find it odd.
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012   Writer
How come?
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I find it strange that our natural reaction to loss is pushing people away.
Reply
:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012   Writer
Really? I think it feels natural though.
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(1 Reply)
:iconipunchbabies:
ipunchbabies Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2012
I typed this really long jaded comment, but decided against it. You're beautiful and so is this.
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012   Writer
thank you. so much :)
Reply
:iconsherrabelle:
sherrabelle Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012
Recently, I've been loving raw personal pieces, with nothing hidden or easily missed or masked in metaphors.. Just clarity.
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012   Writer
I'd glad you identified this as such - this was hard to write because it's the thing I want to ruminate about the least, but without doing that you can't learn from it so I guess I had it coming. There is some metaphor but anything but honesty would be doing these people (and one dog) a disservice.
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:iconamberlouie:
Amberlouie Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Professional Writer
This would look great as a prose poem, .pdf will only allow this aesthetic to show through to readers. It could be interesting to play with the formating here, instead of using roman numerals and names, you could date the prose. For example: the edge of memory is blunt now; i barely remember you. only being too young to know what i'd lost. circa date, gramps.

mechanics of the piece: your use of semicolons are improper, for this reason i'd suggest steering clear. They're tricky things.

Of 'syliam', I disliked the direct reference to 'iPod' and perhaps thought you could manage around this via the use of imagery. Perhaps: 'song blared in your ears and you made it look easy' the 'and you' helps to open up the poem's pace and sense of breath for the reader.

This sentence in the second line of 'grandmother' is a bit clumsy. Perhaps try: 'i know how it looks to you, as if i wasn't even there.'
Suggested comma after 'leaving'. The tone of this section especially reminds me of the way David Sedaris reads things out loud. Dry, but catching in its retelling and poignancy.

I don't quite understand the connection of 'coffee' in your 4th part, it feels out of place here. the satire in this feels off-center. Unless 'coffee' is naming something. Refering back to this idea of dating 'circa year, name' I think this would perhaps work well to loosen up these ambigueties and overall, pare back the form. I think the last line overdoes things a little bit, there's not enough punch because in 'coffee' you've essentially already mulled much over 'not being deserving enough'. Maybe you could think of an image/line to make the poem circle around in either theme or beginning.

I definitely agree with the idea that 'one never stops grieving'. This suffering is how we know we're alive, is the fodder for our poetry and our writing, living experiences.
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2012   Writer
Thanks for the excellent crit!

This was very much a stream of consciousness when it first came out so it definitely did need some changing. I've changed 'iPod' to 'songs'. I won't be changing the grandmother part because I wasn't there for her funeral; that's what I meant. Coffee was the name of my dog, but I don't know how else that could be clarified without it being clear that I love him as much as I could a human. Thoughts?
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:iconamberlouie:
Amberlouie Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2012  Professional Writer
You're welcome. I think it's a great piece. I presumed Coffee was a pet after I clicked *send*. I would put in a delicate, subtle description of something you loved about Coffee, that alludes to an animal. So, fur, teeth, sound etc. I think that should work to pull everything together.
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:iconprairiedaisy:
prairiedaisy Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012   Writer
Still chewing over that - having difficulty with finding the right thing to say. It will come, I think.
Reply
:iconamberlouie:
Amberlouie Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2012  Professional Writer
Maybe leave it for a while and come back? :)x
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